Case #133: Wrong Wish at Eve
"Who's the cute widdle baby?"
Ugh. If I have to hear that one more time, I can't be responsible for my actions. My name is Robert. And I have a new baby brother. Yep. My parents won't shut up about him. Joseph this and Joseph that. It's almost as if I don't exist anymore. I tried being helpful, but that really only works for about two seconds before they go back to gushing over Joe.
I sat alone in my room, wondering what this world is coming to. Does every older brother go through this? Or is it just my parents that are obsessed with babies? Whatever the answer I'm sick of being ignored. I started shooting hoops with the Nerf basketball hoop I have attached to the back of my door to pass the time. At least, until Dad knocks on my door.
"Robert, keep it down. Joseph is trying to sleep." he says.
"Fine. Whatever." I say rolling my eyes. Not that Dad notices, because he's already back out of the door. Probably to go gush over Joseph some more. Why is it that they always pay attention to him and not to me? Maybe cause he's "cute". Yeah that's probably it. I look outside and notice a shooting star.
"I wish my parents would pay attention to me. That I was 'cute' enough for them. Yeah, like that'll happen." I mutter to myself.
"OH! OH! I can help! Your wish is my command!"
I sat bolt upright in bed.
"Who said that?! Show yourself now!" I called out.
"Tee hee, you're funny."
'Some kind of immature genie?' I thought to myself, trying to figure out what's going on, 'but genie's don't exist...'
"You're silly. I'm not a genie. My name is Jirachi!"
"Wait a minute... Isn't Jirachi the name of..."
"Yup! I'm a Pokémon. What's wrong with that! Hey! I'm not stupid!"
Apparently, this Jirachi can read minds. I wouldn't know, since I'm not much of a Pokémon fan or anything. I had heard, however, that Jirachi wasn't exactly the smartest Legendary Pokémon around. I really didn't like where this was going.
"So you want to be cuter, huh? I can do that. Now let's see here That'll work!"
"What are you thinking?"
"Nope. That's a surprise! And Done! Now all you have to do is wait!"
"Wait what?" I couldn't help but be scared. Pokémon aren't even supposed to exist, and now, here is one of the, umm, less thoughtful, legendary Pokémon granting me a wish that I didn't even really think about This can only end poorly.
"Whew. I'm tired now. I'm going to go back to sleep for a while. You should too!"
Suddenly, I felt VERY sleepy. I laid back down on my bed, not thinking much about what had just happened Before I knew it, I was out cold.
"YAY! I helped another human!" Jirachi said to no one in particular, then went off to sleep.
"Robert! Get up!" I heard my Dad yell as he pounded on my locked door.
"What?" I grumbled.
"We need you to watch Joseph. I have work and Mom needs to run to the store to pick up more diapers."
"Ok I'll be out in a minute." I heard them leave and figured that I should probably start moving. I couldn't figure out why, but I felt really warm for some reason. And kind of itchy too. I decided to shrug it off as morning grogginess and went to get dressed.
"Oh. I have fur that explains a lot " I absentmindedly observed while pulling on a clean shirt. I went downstairs to find Mom and Dad indeed gone from the house already, and Joseph playing with some blocks in the living room.
I went in to the kitchen to get some breakfast, when it finally clicked. "Wait, FUR?!" I ran back to my room and looked in the full body mirror that Mom and Dad insisted I have in my room. Yup, I had grown a thin layer of fine brown hair all over my body, except around my neck and the very top of my chest, where it was white. The hair was really fur, I could tell because it was soft to the touch instead of coarse.
"I will not panic. I will not panic." I began repeating to myself as I made my way back downstairs and sat in the living room next to Joseph.
Joseph giggled and crawled over to me.
"What do you want, little squirt?" I asked, not expecting an answer at all, since he really isn't old enough to talk.
Joseph just giggled again and then began to pull on my fur.
"OW! Stop that Joseph! Bad!" Great, so I'm not hallucinating. I have fur. Maybe Nah. Jirachi wouldn't have turned me into a Pokémon. Wait. I take that back. I don't trust it. Maybe I should call one of my friends over and ask him what he thinks? Yeah that sounds like a good idea. I got Joseph off of me and went over to the phone. I decided to call my friend Andrew. He and his brother Connor are pretty into Pokémon.
"Wassup Robert?" he answered. I had called his cell so I know I'd get him.
"Ok, dude, you have to come over right now. You're not going to believe what's happening to me. Heck, I don't even believe it, but I need your help."
"Slow down. What's going on? I'm on my way over now."
"I think Well let me start from last night. I was in my room, and I saw a shooting star. I kinda mumbled how I wished I was cuter so Mom and Dad would pay attention to me Well the star kinda answered back. I think it was What's it called, that pokémon that grants wishes. I can't remember the name right now."
Andrew burst out into laughter. "You mean Jirachi? Man, get your head together. Pokémon don't really exist! It's just a TV show and video games!"
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Until I woke up this morning with Well, FUR!"
"Aww bullcrap. We'll see about that. I'm here, come open the door will you?"
I hung up and rolled my eyes. That's when I noticed something. The fur was growing longer. During my conversation, the fur had grown about an inch, except for the white part, which had grown about two inches, kind of like a mane of sorts. I was about to open the door, when I felt a pulling sensation on my ears. I reached up hesitantly and felt them. They were getting longer, and kind of triangular. Much longer. I followed them down to the base of my head only to yelp in shock. They were attached to almost the top of my head! I sighed and opened the door for Andrew.
"What's wrong now dude?" he asked, busy answering a text on his cell. "Growing a tail or something?"
"Don't jinx me, will you?" I told him and he looked up.
"HOLY CRAP!" He yelled. He came inside and I immediately closed the door behind him.
"So You weren't joking then." He said and laughed sheepishly.
"Naw, you think?" I said my voice dripping with sarcasm. I went over and picked up Joseph and sat him down on my lap. He immediately began pulling on my mane. Great I'm already thinking of it as my mane. With a sigh I pushed away Joseph's hands until he stopped pulling. Meanwhile Andrew was talking.
"So you really did talk with Jirachi then. That kind of sucks. Jirachi is, to put it bluntly, an idiot. Don't get me wrong, from the movie, she really does care about people and loves to try and make them happy. Key word though. Try. And she doesn't usually think things through. I remember there was this one scene in the movie where Max wishes for candy, and Jirachi teleports all the candy from a store into the RV that the group is traveling in. At least until May scolds Jirachi for it. Then she teleports it back, the look on the shop owner's face was priceless though."
I just let him ramble a bit. I had never seen the movie so I really didn't have any idea what he was talking about. After I got Joseph to stop pulling on my fur, I decided to get Andrew's attention.
"Ahem" I cleared my throat.
"Oh sorry. And by the way, you didn't mention the mane or the ears on the phone."
"That's cause I didn't notice the mane until after I hung up. And remember that noise I made?"
"When you yelped behind the door?"
I rolled my eyes "Yes. That was the ears changing."
"You're not the one turning into something that's not supposed to exist!" I yelled at him, as Joseph started making grabs for my ears, giggling all the while.
"Well, Joseph there seems to agree with me. Don't you widdle buddy?"
"Andrew. I may have to kill you if you start talking like that." I said, while staring him down. He froze up for a moment when he made eye contact. Then started laughing.
"I think you just learned Glare dude!"
"What are you talking about?!"
"It's a pokémon move that lowers defense." He continued laughing.
I put Joseph down on the couch next to me, and got up. I continued "Glaring" at Andrew for a few moments until
"What's wrong?" Asked Andrew.
"I think "
Andrew cracked a smile, "I didn't know you could think!"
While Andrew was busy laughing, I was busy decided what to do about the pressure building up at the seat of my pants. Pretty soon though, the laws of physics decided for me.
A hole now existed in my jeans, and out of said hole, was growing a long, fluffy, brown (except the tip, which was white), tail.
"I hate you sometimes." I told Andrew.
"Woah " Andrew said, staring at my new tail. It was kind of swaying back and forth on it's own.
"I blame you for this And- OW!"
Joseph had apparently grown to enjoy pulling on my new body parts, as he was now holding on to my tail rather roughly.
"Joseph. Please let go. That hurts." I said while coaxing my new appendage out of his grasp. I had finally got it free when I felt another set of hands holding it. I turned around slowly and there was Andrew stroking my tail. I was about to yell at him, but for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It felt nice. I ended up curling up a bit near his feet.
"Aww Why'd you stop?" I asked him.
"Because you're trying to curl up into a ball at my feet. That's not something a person would do."
"Well in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly human anymore. Any idea what I'm turning into anyways?" I asked.
"At this point," He said, "my best guess would be an Eevee. They're basically little brown foxes. They're also really cute and playful." He got out his DS and showed me a picture. Wow Well, I did have to admit, they are kinda cute. Ok, they're really cute. Even the boys.
"Hey, um Robert?"
"What?" I asked.
"I think you're changing again."
Indeed, I could feel my face being pulled out into a muzzle shape. Along with growing a decent number of new and extra pointy teeth. The muzzle didn't really get long enough that I could see it, but I could definitely feel the difference in my facial structure. I ran my new slightly longer tongue over my new teeth.
Joseph, ever the cutie, decided this would be a good time to start giggling again. I turned and growled at him, bearing my new fangs. He began crying. It only took me a second to register the mistake I had made, and ran over and picked him up.
"It's OK little buddy. I didn't mean to scare you."
He giggled some more as he started playing with my ears, which were currently lying flat against my head.
"Did you do that just instinctively?" Andrew asked.
"No, because I wanted to make him cry. What do you think moron?"
"I wasn't talking about growling at him. I meant your tail."
I looked down and sure enough, my tail was down between my legs, much like how my ears had laid themselves down against my head.
"Wonderful. I'm already acting like a, what'd you call it? Eevee?"
"Yep. Though a bit more aggressive that what I've seen on the show. You know, you kind of look like a humanoid eevee right now. You just need paws and black -mughph!" I stuck my hand over his mouth.
"Shut up before you jinx me again!"
I took my hands away from his mouth.
"Umm Opps?" he said.
"What do you mean 'Opps'?" I asked him. I looked down at my hands and noticed probably the strangest thing yet. My ring and pinky fingers were fusing together, along with my middle and index fingers, leaving me with only three fingers on each hand. Then I felt my fingernails fall off to be replaced with tiny little claws. I'm not going to go into what it felt like, because it felt really weird. Then I felt a slight pressure on the bottom of hands. I turned them over to discover, I had pads. It was official, I no longer had hands, I had paws. I then felt the same thing happen to my feet.
During this whole process I had pretty much spaced out. Andrew was waving his hands in front of my face quite frantically, as he watched my hands become paws and my eyes turn a dark brown color.
"Robert! Earth to Robert!" He said.
"What?" I asked.
"You OK dude? Lost you for a minute there."
I cocked my head to the side. "What do you mean lost me? I've been standing here this whole time."
"Uh oh " Andrew said. I ignored him.
"Come on! Let's play!" I yelled. Then noticed my tail. "oohhh "
"Robert Please don't do what I think you're about to do " Andrew said. But to no avail. Next thing I know I'm spinning around in circles trying to catch my own tail!
"Whee this is fun!" I called. Then I fell down, landing right on my new tail. My eyes became wider.
"Oh no No no no no no." Andrew said, "I'm not dealing with this. Please don't start crying Robert. Come on dude, get a hold of yourself."
I shook my head and realized what had just happened.
"Was I just acting like an eevee?" I asked him, pretty sure of the answer.
"Yep." He said.
"Great " I said, ears and tail drooping, "I'm loosing my humanity physically AND mentally." I rolled over on to my side.
During all this my mane had grown out a couple more inches, and Joesph had now decided to take a nap, curled up in my mane. It WAS pretty soft And comfortable Next thing I know I had curled up around him, protectively.
"Umm Robert? Robert?" Andrew asked.
All he got back in response was snoring.
I woke up to the sound of a car door slamming. My new eevee instincts screamed "Predator! RUN!" I uncurled, revealing that my body had re-arranged itself and was now quadrupedal. I didn't notice though, I was too busy diving under the couch to hide from the strange noise.
"ROBERT! Come on dude. Please don't lose it completely." Andrew whined from the couch, also apparently awakened from a nap.
"I hate you. You know that right? You vee."
"Oh no " Andrew said, "Robert, can you still talk?"
"I have no vee eevee about. I can vee myself completely."
"Ok then. So you can only kind of speak English."
At this point, panic completely overtook any other thought in my head. Only KIND OF speak English? Does that mean I'm talking like a Pokémon now? I couldn't help it. I started crying.
"VEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" I screamed, tears flowing freely from my eyes.
Joseph decided to wake up and investigate this noise and crawled over to me under the couch. For some reason, his touch calmed me down, and I stopped crying.
"JOSEPH! Get out from under the couch. And where's your brother." Oh crud. Mom was home. "Oh hi Andrew. What are you doing over here?"
"Well you see " Andrew began to explain my story from the start, I could only pray that Mom believed her. Meanwhile Joseph had started playing with my tail again. This time, though, we both started giggling.
"What's that noise?" Asked Mom.
"If I had to guess," Andrew said, "That would be what's left of your son playing with Joseph. Robert! Here boy!"
I bolted out from under the couch and jumped up into Andrew's outstretched arms. "Vee!" I cooed. I was now 100% Eevee, not that I cared anymore. Besides, being an eevee is much more fun than being a boring old human. My tail was wagging at a fast pace, my ears perked up almost straight in the air. "Ee!" I yipped.
Faced with undeniable evidence that this creature existed now, Mom had no choice but to believe in what Andrew had told her. She fell to her knees and began to cry. I began to whine and jumped over to her and licked her face. Trying to tell her that everything would be okay. She hugged me back and we just stayed there for awhile.
Eventually things settled down. Dad, Mom, and of course I, came to terms with the fact that I was now a creature that wasn't supposed to exist, not that it changed the fact that it happened. I was treated very nicely and I grew up alongside my little brother. Not that anyone would ever be able to tell that we were once brothers, and that I was once human.